Who Am I?

Although I have decided to remain anonymous, I have nothing to hide. But my public life could be distracting. I've taken the name I felt Jesus called me by and made it my covenant name.

And Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.

 Mark 6:4 RSV

I am no one outside of Jesus, and I care less and less about the allures of the world or what others think of me. I care so much less about my identity in society and can feel out of touch with most of the movements in the world - being homebound can do that. Health has moved me towards being homebound and has stripped me of multiple careers and more and more of my independence as a woman. I used to care a lot about those things, but I have had reality slapped into me. Through it all, disability has brought blessings by necessity through God's gift of grace. I embrace the cross. So, I will focus on Jesus, take Mary's hand, and walk forward with unshakeable confidence and faith aligned with the suffering Jesus.

Why "Teresa of the Cross"? I felt Jesus call me by this name on the First Sunday of Lent 2023 when I made a mini-retreat and united myself to His cross. It's the devotion I feel the most. I love it and feel Jesus has brought me to a place of peace and comfort. 

I am devoted to many Carmelites and learned that I share part of my covenant name with St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein), St. Teresa of Avila, and St. Therese of Lisieux. Many non-Carmelites inspire me like St. Faustina, St. Padre Pio and Bl Carlos Acutis. What a fantastic group of friends! All to help me along the way of my faith in Jesus towards that beautiful, Heavenly crown. Lent is a great chance to reset everything and remember our death and ultimate dependence on God. This is not our home. 

One year ago today, March 1, 2022. I wrote in my journal while reading and reflecting on St. Faustina's Diary 374 (157, 158) Vilnius, February 4, 1935

From today on, my own will does not exist. From today on, I do the Will of God everywhere, always, and in everything.

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